The Soul Amplified Podcast

5 Signs of Being Controlling in Codependency

March 23, 2022 Vanessa Grace Season 1 Episode 154
The Soul Amplified Podcast
5 Signs of Being Controlling in Codependency
Show Notes

Control is a great way to feel safe.  If you control all the parameters, you'll always know what is coming.  This feels so secure to a codependent!

Buuuut, controlling behavior is actually a detriment even if it DOES make you feel better.  Here are 5 signs you're acting controlling as a codependent person.

  1. Scheduling and time--You need to know what is happening and when, beyond being able to manage your day.
  2. You need to know outcomes before beginning anything--Yes, this gives you assurances, but it also chops of any option of excitement and fun from taking a risk!  Or having an opportunity turn out great because there was no way to know the final outcome.
  3. Micromanaging--To the point you're managing tasks that should be trusted to be done by the people you're micromanaging.
  4. Can't let others make choices--Adults should be making their own choices, and if you're making them for another, you are complicit in disempowering them.
  5. Lack of interior trust--This is an inside experience.  If you cannot trust it to get done, work it out, make choices, or manage their own schedule it likely means you are doing it FOR them to retain control and avoid fear.

Remember to use your iceberg thoughts--notice what is above the water line in your obvious thoughts.  But then ask yourself why questions to understand deeper thoughts and assumptions about your controlling thoughts, choices and behavior.

We're celebrating today because this podcast is moments away (just 30 downloads) from hitting 20,000 downloads!  To celebrate, I'm having you write me old school letters and mailing them in to me.  I'm calling it The Connection Project--so fun!  I'm going to read them on-air, so if you DON'T want yours read, or DON'T want me to say your first name, please clearly tell me so I can respect your wishes.  Thank you!

Please mail your good ol' school letters to:
Vanessa Grace
PO Box 3213
Vancouver, WA  98668

Contact Me or Consume My Stuff Here:

Activate: Personal Empowerment through Shedding Codependency
A 1 day Virtual Retreat for women seeking to connect with themselves
Happening April 23, a Saturday, from 9am Pacific to 4:30pm Pacific

There will be experiences to invoke connection to self, grounding, trust.  There will be learning to lean into your voice and reducing codependency traits and behaviors.  You will leave with practical tools to use to help you in daily experiences you face all the time--and worksheets to help it stick!

The event is $277 for early bird registration.
Learn more and register here:

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