Communication--ppfffft! It's so important and yet whhhhyyyyyyy is it so complicated to pull off? Today I dive into the famous "I" Message. There are so many ways to get it wrong, lets go over how to do it right!
The "I" Message (the extended version)
I feel _________ (emotion) when you __________ (factual observation) because _________ I (unfulfilled need, desire, hope, value, or expectation). I would like us to talk about this.
When to use it--When someone's actions have caused a reaction in you, and you would like to come together and clarify how to correct it.
Feelings--You're actually wanting to share an emotion, not just a feeling.
What the other person did--describe the behavior objectively, like a factual observation. Not with judgement words that are either insulting or diffuse what actually happened.
Why it bothered you--what value, hope, need, desire or expectation was not fulfilled by the other person's actions?
Tune in to go deeper, or DM me on IG to sign up for my Free Breaking Free of People Pleasing coaching call! 30 minutes to deep insight and personalized action steps.
Contact Me or Consume My Stuff Here:
Intuition Quiz: www.EnlightenedBossLady.com (Update Oct 2022: The quiz is no longer available, sorry babe!)
e-mail me about coaching, The People Pleaser Recovery Roadmap Course, or other questions: Vanessa@soulamplified.org